Such a Scary (and Beautiful) World I Have in Front of Me

Well, here we are. The screams and cheers are getting louder as I complete my final laps of freshman year. There have been moments of great downfall, but greater moments of success. I have left most of what I found to be familiar behind me, and have ventured out into the unknown a time or seven now. Ultimately I believe that these unplanned and unexpected adventures have helped me chisel away who others have perceived me to be, and allowed me to shape myself into who I plan to be. My father used the description “Mandie 2.0” after I changed my major and ended a long-term relationship all within the same week. Although it began as a joke, I have yet to find another way to describe all the changes I have allowed myself to make. In August 2014, I was a declared nursing major and three years into a committed, much too comfortable, long distance relationship. It is now April 2015, and I am a Public Relations major (with an anticipated marketing minor) and pursuing a relationship with a southern raised man who encourages me to achieve greatness even without him. Of course with such drastic changes in such a small amount of time, the lapsed months between August and April were not without emotional phone calls to mu parents and impulsive decision making. When I decided to leave the nursing college here at the University of Alabama, I immediately jumped into English education, believing it would give me the opportunity to write- a talent God has graced me with from a young age. It was not until a heartfelt discussion with a professor I respect immensely that I realized:
1. I would not be writing, but rather grading other writing.
2. Education leaves minimal (if any) room for advancement in a career path, and I need change in my life. I need goals.
With such large flaws quickly appearing in my projected future plans, I realized that education was not for me. I kept my plans of a second major change to myself for three weeks or so, realizing that ultimately it was me who needed to make a decision.

“What makes me happy?” I asked. After a long list of pros and cons was written, laid out next to a list of my skills and weaknesses, Public Relations seemed to jump out at me. It seemed so clear. I would be able to work in a city, I can find careers that allow me to travel, and I will be able to write. With answers finally laid out in front of me, fear also began to surge through my veins. This is a plan I have never seen for myself. Can I handle such responsibilities? Can I encourage myself to muster up the determination I will need to succeed in the intimidating world of business? Here I am, back at square one. While square one is never without anxiety, I will keep driving forward. The end goal is happiness, I am just finding a new path to take on the way there.

I am shutting the door on nursing, and opening doors in the scary business world. (Hello!)

I am shutting doors on past relationships, and chasing what I want, not just who shows interest.

I am growing, discovering, learning and maturing. I am finding Mandie, and reminding myself that independence is a beautiful thing. 


2 thoughts on “Such a Scary (and Beautiful) World I Have in Front of Me

  1. This is so awesome. A friend of mine shared your Meghan Trainor post and I have just created my own blog in the last 2 weeks. In a matter of 20 minutes I’ve skimmed through all of your posts and find so many connections. Thank you for personable and relatable writing. Look forward to reading your journey!


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